The Bun is Still in the Oven!

Taken June 27, 2012

Taken July 9, 2012

I don't think there are the words to really convey how ecstatic I am about this pregnancy. Since I honestly thought that I was one and done. In the beginning, I wasn't able to fully enjoy being pregnant. I thought that the other things going on in my life were going to take a precedent. But HUN-TEE let me tell you that there is NO WAY that I am not going to enjoy this time in my life especially since it may be the last time I get pregnant. I have included my son in every aspect of this journey. He skipped camp to come to my first official ultrasound/sonogram appointment and was delighted to see his brother/sister waving at him. This baby was soooo active. Doing flips, turning over and what not. Ugh. I am so in love. I know that there are a few folks who aren't happy for me but bay-bee trust me when I tell you I am happy enough for all parties. And not even happy, I am overjoyed. Cause see JOY comes from the Lord and this is JOY that I have, pure, unadulterated JOY! I love music. I sing to my baby every chance I get. Since I am pretty good at what I do (toot toot) I wonder if this baby will get my musical inclinations. Omari has a sweet, angelic voice and his daddy ain't too shabby when he is actually singing and not being a clown. Perhaps (S)He will take it a step further. That would be dope! So I am enjoying my time and really putting more time in with Omari. I never want him to think that this baby is replacing him in my heart. I didn't realize that it could even swell to accept another child. I worried that I would put too much pressure on this baby to be Omari-esque. I know that all will be fine. God leads me and therefore leads this child. I am in love. I sleep with my hand on my womb. I talk to him/her. I give him/her advice already! I smile because Jesus loves me and because I got the Sweetest Love! 

Yellow

So my good friend April D. knows that when I think about my bumblebee I see yellow. Today I was feeling kinda blue and then she put this song on my Facebook page. I am going to learn the words to this because I love how this song instantly made me smile. Made me think about dancing with my baby girl in a field of sunflowers or laying in the park on a yellow blanket and soaking up the sun (with proper SPF) with my baby boy. I am really glad she did this. Thanks April! I don't know why I see yellow. My favorite colors are black and turquoise. Maybe it is just to say that this baby has a life and personality all his/her own. My husband's favorite colors are orange and purple. Omari's favorite color is orange but this baby is telling me mama, i like yellow. I know that regardless, boy or girl, this baby will be my sunshine! *besitos*

Baby Jogger F.I.T. Jogging Stroller - Slate/Black

*Sigh*

...but sometimes I wish that people would see all that I do for EVERYONE around me, throw in the fact that I am pregnant and say, "here, have a seat," or "let me get that for you," or "I thought about you today, here are some flowers." I don't do what I do for recognition because there is none but dammit I AM PREGNANT!  I want to sit and rub my belly and think about my baby but I have this person in my ear every ten seconds telling me what I am supposed to do, or I have a hungry child here or someone that needs tending to, but no one tends to me the way I tend to them.  When does that change? Am I gonna have to pass out for people to know that I am working at full speed and juggling a myriad of things, please don't tip my plate by adding extra to it. If I could have a perfect day, I would wake up and take the kids to school, go to the nail salon, Van's Nails and get a mani/pedi and eyebrow wax.  Then I would head over to Natural Trend Setters and get my hair washed and twisted. Finally, I would stop at DSW and get some shoes and Ross/Marshalls to get something to put on.  I would come home and make dinner and just be so relaxed. Won't be happening no time soon. *sigh*

You are my friend

Okay this is the emotional post. My son Omari is the bomb diggity (no doubt).  I don't know what we did to be blessed by God with a child that is so perfect for us.  He has been on this ride with us in taking in my cousins. He treats them as if they were born with him.  He loves it and he has just shown so much maturity in accepting this situation.  My Smooshie Pie and I have our daily dates.  Little 5 to 10 minutes Mommy son love fests where we hug and watch tv or just talk.  Of course he gets a thousand kisses and hugs a day. we dance together and listen to Tune Disney in the morning. He even listens to NPR with me. When I suffer from my migraines he is as gentle with me as anyone could be.  I learn so much from him, more than I have ever taught him. I think he has kept me from being the worst possible version of myself because I want to be the best for him. Any mother of a boy knows how important this relationship is. We have this little running joke that he is joined to me forever as a mama's boy. He loves it though. Words cannot express how much I love this kid. He is my friend. Faith Evans, take it away cause I am in my feelings way too much right now.

All Over The Place

My life is really hectic. I think that every mother thinks that but mine actually is. I mean, I guess it is relative to a person's tolerance level but mine is just hectic.  I have 4 children now, in school, sit on boards, volunteer work. This time last week I only had one and one on the way.  I haven't had much time to really sit and think about what this baby means to me because I don't have much me time but I guarantee you that this will change. I am going to slow down. Yesterday the hubby and I laid in bed and watched Mary Mary onDemand. Sister Tina found out she was pregnant and was NOT happy. She was sad and depressed and didn't know how to tell her husband or her manager. I wanted to cry.  I feel like you should never feel that way about a baby that was made in love.  Her husband Teddy's reaction to her was indicative of a man who is led by God.  He knows that God will provide.  I felt really bad for her though. Then we have Erica, she wanted to badly to perform on the Grammys that she looked for ways to naturally induce baby Zaya.  To each his own but her husband Warryn was like nah buddy ain't gone happen.  When she told him that it was her body and that she will make the final decision, I thought it was extremely selfish and bogus of her. I don't know. Glad that's not my life. Anyway. I am happy for this baby but I haven't been able to get into the really good pregnancy things yet with the exception of my baby shower.  My baby shower planners, Godmommy J'Nai and Supreme Auntie Spice Du Jour April just might get tired of me. Because the baby's gender will be secret (from us as well) until delivery, the theme will just be baby. What that means or translates into I don't know but I started my baby shower pinterest board!

I have not had a baby in 10 years.  WHOA! That just hit me.  I don't even know what to put in to a registry. What is this child going to sleep in? Diapers, fuggitaboutit. They cost a grip! This baby might be green and wear cloth diapers and safety pins. Geez Louise.

Yellow!  One of the colors for my baby will be yellow. That just popped into my head so I let you know.  My mind is all over the place right now. I will be back later when I have it together.

Pregnant and Hormonal

So, I am pregnant. I found out on May 19, 2012, the day that a good friend of mine and really sweet soul Lenora passed away. I think I knew anyway because of all the changes my mind and body were going through.  My husband Nick and I were preparing for our son's First Holy Communion reception the nest day so we went to my favorite store, Dollar Tree to get the supplies cause honey Party City ain't what's what anymore. La Dollar was cheaper and had everything we needed for about $10.(I still got the balloons from Party City because they had an amazing deal so I will give them their props and a link.) Can't beat that with a bat. So anyway, Nick picked up three pregnancy tests and as soon as we got home I took one. I was nervous and excited and when I saw that second line appear I was over the moon!  We hadn't been getting a long that day for the most part so this news really brought us together.

Our son Omari has been an only child since 11/11/02.  I have been pregnant before and I lost that child.  I didn't think I would have another and my mind has been so back-and-forth over if I really wanted another child.  This world scares me.  I am already an extremely over-protective mother so for me to do this again. . .will be a piece of cake, or maybe a cup of vinegar. Who knows? What I do know is that I am excited about this time in my life.  I look forward to carrying a child that was made in love.  I am more cautious about what I put in my body.  I am not willing to sacrifice his/her health over my selfish wants.  I am drinking that water and I am taking those pills.  I am trying to stay drama free.  I will admit that I am easily agitated. Always have been and even more so now but I am pregnant and folks gotta deal with it or get from 'round me. Overall I have a great group of friends, "The Usual Suspects," who know my attitude and personality.  My bestie gave me a scalp rub and scratch. I think we go together now! LOL! PAUSE! LOL! But really I am trying to bring that attitude down to 5 at least.

We decided to wait until delivery to find out our baby's gender. I have no preferences.  It may sound trite but I just want a healthy baby. I have witnessed the highs and lows of dealing with an unhealthy baby and it's depressing and devastating. I have health issues myself but surprisingly in these 4 weeks I have not had any issues, PRAISE GOD! I love the way I can relate to boys. My son and I are ridiculously close.  I would love to have a daughter and prove that mother/daughter relationships can work.  Either way, I am good.  

I have a host of mommies giving me advice like I am new to this! LOL!  I am a vet!  LOL! But seriously, I am taking all advice given in love.  I have a lot of mother-figures and I really respect them so when they talk, I listen.

Up to week four, so far so good.  My boobs itch a little, my uterus is contracting and is quite painful.  Nothing a couple Tylenol won't cure.I can't get enough sleep and as I stated before, my patience is on zero. If God grants me another day I am going to try to do better.  In the meanwhile . . .

Sing for them Yolanda!